I Like That
Y’all God keeps sitting me down! It excited me how quickly I caught on to the signs this time. Previously it has taken years, cause I’d ignore everything except the goal I was after that I created without consulting Him. I’m talking about running into walls, doors not opening so I would turn into a professional contractor, making openings out of nothing, buying tools, full ridiculousness. This time I knew instantly that He needed more attention and wanted me to shift, so here I am, taking classes and finishing projects I started moons ago. I’ve even paused dating because that can be a distraction and these niggas haven’t been talking about much yet they stay talking. They talk so frivolously I’ve learned to talk less. Now mind you I love engaging but now I’m fine tuning my selectiveness, I’m being very intentional and I’m adapting better listening skills.
As my listening skills sharpen, I’ve noticed something interesting with men and women, we self-sabotage. We rush into some dangerous things and bypass some pretty dope ones due to lack of confidence, unhealed traumas, and fear. Especially when it comes to our relationships; platonic and romantic. We are letting the past add way too much pressure on our future. We all have a past. Mine is ugly. Not sure if I would do it all again but I do love who I am today because of it. Although, I’ve healed from the shame, I had moments I’d let others judgement hinder me. Because so many of us are judged unfairly, we often hide to prevent from being fully seen.
I’ve done it. I’ve made choices based on the perception it could give someone it hopes to cover up the real me. That’s not living though. That’s not fair to me and it attracted the wrong people. Since I want a full life; with love, laughter, and trust, I must be fully me.
Now I’m so Jam, I don’t even appear in certain rooms. I only want to be me, so I only go where I am comfortable to do that. I still try new places and love meeting new people, but now I completely respect my energy and understand vibes. I cultivated my home to be a place I thrive in. I literally make plans to stay naked in my house and do nothing. I do not participate in activities where I cannot enhance someone, something or it doesn’t feed me. I’m Dope. People can’t just get high off me for free anymore. I add value therefore I require value.
You’re Dope Too! KNOW THAT. Let it settle and live in your heart and your soul that there is greatness inside of you. In order for your dopeness to survive you can’t hide it and you can’t be ashamed of any part of you or your story. You must live fully too.
Start asking yourself the hard questions, then sit down and do the work. Life doesn’t need to look pretty, or sound good but it should feel amazing. Does your life feel amazing? Honestly, how are you feeling in this moment? Do your plans today feed you? Do they take you a step closer to your goals? Have you consulted God about where you are headed? Have you started therapy to heal your traumas so you can honestly show up as who you are and get to where you want to be without self-sabotaging? Don’t fret about the past, your people don’t and won’t fret either but do get to work on healing so you can get out of your own way. Take it one hour and one step at a time. I pray your life feels fantastic and when it doesn’t you work through whatever it is and get to phenomenal. Live your life and please show up as you every single moment of every single day. Remember we need you out here sprinkling your uniqueness around. #SincerelyJam