DNA
Being the bigger person is hard. It becomes easier over time, but have you ever felt weak because you let something go? Like in the moments that you can see something will take way too much of your time or energy therefore you choose the peaceful route. Moments when you were younger you would have had a completely different reaction to it. We are constantly growing or at least we should be, yet our DNA is our DNA.
My family is handling a few pressing issues with my grandmother’s health. She has dementia. I have asked myself what is needed, how can I help, how should I help, how much can I do alone and how much unity is required. I am a doer. I solve problems and I figure things out, but this is a lot. No one person can do this. My grandma needs all our support, and we all need each other. Earlier this week while communicating that to my uncle on the phone his new girlfriend interjected. Sharply advising I call my aunt instead of him. This woman is not my uncle’s wife or someone with vast knowledge and love for our family. She is someone who was previously hired to help with my grandma, I think stole from her, did not do right by her and is now dating my uncle.
The composure I hold daily and the maturity I have grown to have a lapse. The exchange was volatile. I called my father afterwards shaking and a friend that is good for a prayer after that. Once my face stopped burning, I was disappointed that I allowed myself to go there. I thought I had buried the angry child I once was, and she was never to be seen again. Thing is anger is a natural emotion. Just because I angered doesn’t mean I am angry. That lead me to be proud of my evolution. I used to live in a constant state of frustration, but I haven’t been that upset in years. Besides this is my grandmother, my favorite girl, I get to be upset when someone disrespects her.
As we mature, we will feel as if we aren’t as strong as before because we choose to keep our peace, but we are stronger because of that. Our strength has evolved, and we begin to control our emotions. I realized I can feel a thing, process, and make a choice. Plus, some people only understand certain types of communication therefore I’m glad my life has equipped me to converse on each level of maturity, lol. Also, I didn’t stay in the zone for long. I naturally returned to my peace. That is how life should feel with the entire array of emotions. We are multi facet. Our DNA is complex and that’s dope. The generational curses, the pain and resolves are complicated so rejoice in all the healing big or small. Embrace all of who you are. I’m discovering I’m not classy or hood, I am both. I’m not perfect or clumsy, I am human. Perfectly made with imperfections. So are you.
All the past, present, and future form a path to our purpose and that is beautiful. To know God connects our purpose to each high and every low we should rest better. Everything about you is exactly how it should be. Nobody else is YOU. So don’t hide who you are. Allow room for mistakes, learn, and GROW. Nobody else has your life, your flavor, or your exact DNA. Please lean into every part of you and show us what you’re made of.