Can I be straight-up with y’all? My sex drive increases with my age. To my understanding that’s the case for most women but it’s like taboo to say that out loud or it’s common for people to assume a high sex drive is a male trait and unladylike. Society will have women feeling like our sexual desires are a horrible thing. Like our bodies aren’t really ours and that everything we do with them we need to consider how other people feel about it. I’m unclear why other people have any feelings about it at all. I typically mind my business and think it’s healthy for everyone to do the same. If you have time to mind someone else’s business you’re probably not attending to your own but that’s a different blog for a different day. Any… who… Girls Need Love!

Our bodies are literally made to reproduce, and it reminds us of it in multiple ways, multiple times a month. The older I get the more aware of it I become, like “oh I think I can make a baby right now.” because I be in legit heat during ovulation. I’m sharing all this because I’m on an abstinence journey and it is not for the weak. I’m writing about it instead of giving into some strong urges like I have in the past in case any of you are on a similar journey. I know previously I went about it wrong. I tried to ignore my desires and pretended like sex isn’t all of what it is. Sex is great. It was created by God to be this phenomenal thing to unite two people and baby that it does! It keeps us tied but at 38, single and marriage being a primary goal, I cannot risk being tied to anybody that’s not my husband.

Sex can blur things and I need all the clarity. I want something permanent, something way more than physical. I’m cool on “safe sex”. There is nothing safe about sharing my body with someone I half know because their representative showed up for months. Some intentionally because they’re scared to be themselves and other’s unintentionally because they don’t even know themselves. Can you imagine being tied to that type of confusion and the set back that could cause? No Thank You. Although it’s hard, it’s worth it. The discipline of it all is challenging but the growth I am gaining is amazing. I feel like a Rockstar! This new way of dating is a version of love too. The development of these new friendships with men are fun. I love some of them but not in the complicated way, just like I would a stranger at the grocery store. We talk when we talk, whether that’s 4 times a day or 4 times a year, and whatever develops does so organically. This feels safe for me, and I love it here.

So, if you’re like me and you need love too or are on the border line of waiting, I say choose both. Take Your Time. Dope relationships don’t start by putting people in boxes or forcing anything. Real friendship is a soul exchange and an extremely safe place, why limit new people to anything less than that. #SincerelyJam