Novacane

Yo! What an interesting time to be alive. I’m optimistic for the most part and I’m all for being informed but it is a lot of information to filter through and it’s nonstop. I even feel odd writing more about this yet here we are. How are you processing this? Lol, any tips for me?!? I’m healing daily from pre-quarantine PTSD and growing pains so simply not becoming overwhelmed each day makes me feel accomplished. I’m trying to remain in a bubble, but I’m opinionated, passionate and compassionate so stuff is eating me like Gilbert Grape. I grew up extremely nonchalant. I was the epitome of unbothered.

I now know being emotionless leaves you without the good feelings too, so I weather the highs and lows but sometimes the lows sucker punch me.

I’m talking about Mayweather vs. Ortiz combo me, and I be needing a time out but there isn’t a referee. I want to revert to the numbness that once was my normal. I don’t wanna feel, no human connections needed, just extract the problem, and let me know once it’s done. Novocain.

Bittersweetly, I move forward, my sensitivity triumphs and in times like these the judgement I’m observing humans placing on other humans is tremendously disheartening. People are criticizing and chastising others for how they are handling this or not handling this when love is how we get through this. I know love is being shared but the fog of contempt is making it hard to see and I’m super concerned about why we don’t care about all the other pandemics. Because this one is contagious? They all are! From other respiratory illnesses to suicide, child abuse, school shootings, domestic violence, racism, economic disparities, depression and the homeless. Which isn’t contagious??? People literally have unprotected sex with people who have unprotected sex with other people, yet they don’t want to go for a jog right now. STDs are contagious and babies are real. Zero judgement be free, and I love kids, but know it affects us all.

I’m not downplaying this very real and current pandemic I just pray we increase our concern about all things. That we recognize what harms us and zone in on how we repair. I pray we increase our concern for each other during it all. I pray we respect people’s space and mental health when this is over. I pray we care about who we spend our time with, the professionals that risk their lives and those who don’t feel safe to go outside even when this is done because the silent killer is how numb we often are. How much we don’t care about humanity. How we shove our opinions and judgements down each other’s throats like any of us have it right. We are all global citizens. Part of humankind. We all fail and succeed. Compassion and love are always needed because we are all, forever, connected. #SincerelyJam