What’s your favorite genre of music? I LOVE Soul music. In high school some friends would ask why I always listened to sad songs, but they weren’t sad they were deep. It was a window into a soul or experience. It’s like good acting it resonates as it should and creates a job well done. That’s depth. I love depth. I use the word love a lot and I love that too.

I was numb for years. I couldn’t feel the highs or the lows. The lows were so low, I probably wouldn’t have made it if I didn’t turn my emotions off. Although it allowed me to not know how bad somethings were, I missed out on some good things too. Mistakes were repeated because most of my lessons weren’t learned in the moments but through hindsight. The school of life. Being a student of it all makes the picture clearer and let me tell you, change is a phenomenal thing! Now I cry at commercials and my heart expands for everything and everyone. Even those who offend me. After my initial irritation I pray for people instead of attacking. Lol, at least most of the time.🙃 

That’s growth though right, it’s never done. That may be the actual beauty of it, the process when we take the time to see it for what it is and experience it. You think differently and see differently; you’ll notice when someone else needs growth or what area you could use some more in through daily interactions. You ever have a conversation with someone that could go totally wrong because their delivery is not it’s best. On a day you aren’t your best you could trip but that day you take it at whatever value you give it and move on. I used to use those moments to “check people”, now I check myself.  I use those conversations as lessons. Is there something I need to share to prevent myself harm in the future, can I see how wrong some of my own deliveries have been and call people to apologize? Sometimes I’ll see how much I dislike a thing and change it in myself. For example, I have a friend and she over talks me every 60 seconds. I stopped over talking people or at least I’m actively working on it. I used to want to ask her to stop but I know she means zero harm by it and really needs a listening ear more than I need to talk so I hear her out.

It’s funny because I use to think once I conquered this or fixed that I’d be done and complete. Or at least at a point where I could take a break because I was perfect. Not even a little bit. I actually have zero interest in being perfect now. I’m not even sure what my idea of perfect was. If it was a ton of other people’s ideas piled on top of each other. It may have been a look I thought I needed to have to succeed or “fit in”.

I use to impose my perfectionist ideals onto others. That was unfair to me and the world. To cheat myself and y’all of all this authenticity. To not know all my dopeness and how special difference are was wack. So wack. Not even talking down on myself, at all, just sharing how dope being you really is. How dope allowing others to be themselves really is. How important being present in every moment is. That’s how you’ll make a difference.

That’s how you’ll love it all. When you see beauty everywhere. When you choose to be deep, compassionate, and understanding. It’s easy to trip over everything, but you can’t get far falling down all day, LOL. Plus, it feels good not to trip. Letting stuff not phase us also gives us the freedom to be ourselves too. To expect the same compassion and understanding. I’m sure you noticed you usually get what you expect. I expect blessings in the form of people, places, and things. How would what’s mine find me if I was tripping over this and that or not being true to myself. I’d pass by all my stuff because I’d be distracted. No thanks, I want everything that’s mine! The relationships. The laughs, the highs and lows. I want all the lessons and deep conversations, even the disagreements. No more being what you think you should be.  Be You! Keep schoolin’ life. #SincerelyJam💋