When does using turn into misuse? I think we are all here to be used. In a healthy ecosystem things feed off each other, every participant is benefiting and beneficial; that’s proper use. If something takes without giving the ecosystem may falter and the healthy balance is lost; that’s improper use. If we’re dating and I simply enjoy your company, yet I know our future is not long but I’m allowing you access to my company too (top tier vibes might I add✨) is that a fair exchange? Should you enjoy someone’s company knowing you can’t give them what they want? I am often direct for the sake of clarity. Normally when getting to know someone I share my disinterest in a kind manner when I realize it, I like to be considerate of my time and theirs. Then there are a selected few that come along and I discover they aren’t my husband, but they are fun.

Companionship is fun, laughter is fun, and it’s different in romantic proximity than it is with platonic friends. When dating at first, I don’t know what can come of it. I’m open, not rushing to answers or jumping to conclusions, I observe green/red flags, notice the man isn’t boring, or passive or aggressive and we make it from the phone to a date. Then the date is fun, like real fun, lol, no kissing or touching (girl you got a husband who loves you…🎶) but a healthy really good time. So, we go out again, and we talk more, and I ask questions to see their thought process. Through listening I learn vital information; can they feed me spiritually or intellectually, can I feed them, what are their goals, do they know God intimately, am I graced for their insecurities, how do they manage anger, etc. and not only do I hear their answers I feel them… And here lies the part where I want to compartmentalize the experience.

I want to stay connected to some things in ways that allow me to experience them and them me without holding on too tight. When I think about how it sounds that could be playing with people or is it fair exchange no robbery? I love people and people love me, I welcome it because I am lovable yet sometimes, I simply cannot stay for long and though it’s a righteous move to move on as soon as I know, it is starting to feel unfair to me. I thoroughly enjoy the dating process; I learn so much. The selflessness I’m developing is priceless. The understanding of humans is delicious for my sapiosexuality but the letting go part is wack… With dating, men are usually clear they want more than friendship so that gives me a responsibility I don’t even want; why do I have to protect their feelings and emotional health. This is big girl business and iono if I’m feeling up to it anymore.

As y’all know discernment is huge over here. We vibe with God all day and we take the time to know ourselves, we have values and standards that helps sort who, what and where things hold space in our lives. We also pray that we never get in our own way, that we allow all God has for us to make its way to us so no matter what our feelings say we gotta lean in to what’s right... Should I share as soon as I know a spouse for you I will not make, or can a girl just have fun and enjoy the good times?!? They’re adults too they should have their own discernment, right? Wrong… It’s all, lol, wrong. When you know better you must do better. The temporary fun at the expense of someone else’s lack of knowledge does not benefit you, can deeply hinder them and this is a misuse of people. If you know their goals do not align with yours for your own wellbeing you must communicate the truth. Some will conform to friends and others will be gone forever but if you live life authentically you do get to thoroughly enjoy the experience while it lasts. Letting go does not negate the facts or the fun.💛 You always want to have a spotless mind and a full heart. It keeps the bitterness and regret away.🤞🏾#SincerelyJam