The Sweetest Thing

Recently while visiting a friend they asked how I remained happy. The question left an intriguing after taste. They asked as if I rose to an occasion, like a chore or some sort of task I achieved. I had to think about it because typically I don’t even notice it. Not in a dismissive way but I don’t recognize the intensity of my happiness until somebody mentions it. In that moment my answer wasn’t deep, it was something like I don’t know I just am.... That’s the truth. I just am happy. There is simply joy inside of me. For years it was forced. I had to show up and forget all the bad but now I no longer have to put on a smile or pretend everything is good. I now understand regardless of what is going on that it is all for good.

 Once upon a time I liked who I wanted to be and people for who I thought they were. Now I just love. I love life, people, relationships, knowledge. I love getting dirty, like past the fluff and all in people’s understanding. Compassionate about where they come from and eager for where they are going. Listening and finding the stuff beyond words. Previously I loved the thought of people. That’s it. Mostly just the idea of them because their flaws disappointed me and people were dispensable. I could take them or leave them. Now I choose to keep it all. Everybody and myself, exactly as we are. I enjoy the uniqueness of our flaws because we all have them. What would this world be if everyone were perfect and acted how we thought they should when we thought they should? We don’t do that. Now I know some people go the distance and some don’t. Either way, I enjoy the experience of them and I am grateful for whatever they are and whatever we share. I realized I am happy because I accepted myself in the same way. I found peace and wonder in the imperfections of life and living freely in my humanity is the sweetest thing I’ve ever known... #SincerelyJam