Anti-Hero
Sometimes stuff is our fault. Sometimes we choose the wrong words, the wrong time, the wrong things; we are to blame… sometimes. Other times we need to extend grace. Actually, even when we’re wrong, we need to extend grace to ourselves, and those affected by our actions, AND apologize to the people we wronged. It’s a thing. We are humans living and breathing a human experience, lol, it is a thing.
Even when someone else is wrong, how we handle it or them, may, be, wrong…
I run away from things that don’t feel good. Like fast, I leave situations that don’t feel good, but I’ve noticed that some uncomfortable things aren’t detrimental but educational, Christian even. Where is the growth if you always move out of uncomfortableness’s way? Where do you learn how to be wrong if you’re only in situations that prove you right, lol?
Pride is something I didn’t know I battled with until recently. I knew I was spoiled but I always thought it was within reason and ok. Now this isn’t about not being spoiled cause the plan is to keep that going forever but as an adult, I have to respectfully understand what being in relationship with me takes and I have to leave room for others to be spoiled too. Not just in theory, but in actions.
If you were to ask me how I wanted to be treated I would tell you like a baby girl, be sweet and gentle with me but not once have I used the word gentle when describing how I’d treat a man. I can say and do lots of kind things, even cater to a man, and extend grace for a lot but I forget that they are baby boys too. They have triggers that need protection too.
The past week or two I’ve been embracing silence. I logged off social media, kept my phone on silent, and read my Bible more. I asked God that I love like Him and move like Him. I learned I am not graced for everyone’s insecurities, so with God’s protection and discernment there will be no settling or abuse, yet I can share Christian compassion when in proximity to things I can help with. I don't have to run away; I simply have to stay near people whom I am safe around. Empathy can be given freely, and pride can be put to the side. As long as I continue to seek God first, continue to ask Him to control my thoughts, my tongue and to lead me, I'll be fine. You will be too. I pray we all give ourselves room to grow, room to be loved and to love unconditional. I pray this helps you apologize when you need to and that you stay safe. In Jesus name, amen.✨