Faithful

Cheating is super lame. The option to stay single is a whole thing so to betray someone’s trust like that is not cool at all. You agree on a commitment, keep healthy communication, learn, grow and make edits where needed. When thinking about being faithful to another human it’s literally that simple for me but when it comes to my own boundaries, goals and relationship with God I often stray. Where they do that at? How you gon’ be committed to the elevation and consideration of others so much you betrayed your two most important relationships?

I turned 39 a week or so ago, one brief year away from 40 which seems extremely huge and severely close, forcing a lot of recollection, precision in my visions, wants and needs. The weeks leading up to my birthday I was way more sensitive than usual. I typically don’t take things personal and advise others not to pick up what people put down but I was filling a luggage worth of other peoples actions and words and carrying them around like I was paid to do it. I knew it was abnormal, it wasn’t my annual birthday blues, it was different, heavier so I shut down. I put my phone on silent, deleted my social media and minded my business. I thought waiting it out would work but, nope, it didn’t pass. I tipped toed out of my cocoon, even called up an associate who typically has a spiritual word for me and that experience was so unwelcoming it took every ounce of peace I had left to handle the interaction in a professional manner that I knew the next interaction that required it I was gonna catch a case. My cousin had to remind me I was dealing with spiritual warfare. I have been fasting monthly, committing to my purpose, getting closer to God and the devil loves getting busy when we’re headed where we’re supposed to go. His mission is always to defeat God and what better way than to steal our joy. Her reminder shifted my entire perspective because I understood I was in a fight. I can’t wait out a fight, lol! I blasted my war song, Nipsey’s Right Hand to God, on repeat while asking the Lord to do what He does. What was on me for at least two weeks was gone in under an hour because I focused on the faithfulness of Jesus. To remain faithful I had to recommit my dependency on God. I added my prayer alarms I deleted while I was mad, I accepted a new job which makes SO much sense, I know His light can shine bight there! I am allowing ease in like the royalty I am instead of questioning if I’m worthy to be in these rooms, making realistic goals, letting God be my go to, resting in Him, making time for real rest, and respecting my boundaries. Remember faith is fragile therefore we must protect it.

I pray you remain faithful to what if faithful to you. Reset and focus on being true to whose you are and who you are here to be. #SincerelyJam💋